Deeper and Bigger

          This week I am completing a sermon series called “Remedies for the Chaotic Life.” I’m not sure how often pastors preach to themselves, but all during my study for this series…I have been convicted by God’s constant soft voice in my ear. My life is much too chaotic most of the time.

Dr. Kirk Jones in his book Rest in the Storm shared this quote from a one disillusioned pastor, “I am supposed to move from sick bed to administrative meeting, to planning, to supervising, to counseling, to praying, to trouble-scheduling, to audio systems, to meditation, to worship preparation, to newsletter, to staff problems, to mission projects, to conflict management, to community leadership, to study, to funerals, to weddings, to preaching. I am supposed to be ‘in charge,’ but not too in charge—administrative executive, sensitive pastor, skillful counselor, public speaker, spiritual guide, politically savvy, and intellectually sophisticated. And I am supposed to be superior, or at least first-rate, in all of them. I am not supposed to be depressed, discouraged, cynical, angry or hurt. I am supposed to be upbeat, positive, strong, willing, and available” (L104-Kindle).

              Now I ask you, does this sound schizophrenic to you? I admit that often I have called my life as a pastor, “schizophrenic” because what this pastor says is the same for me too. If I am not careful I can get swamped with the constant drain of the mental and emotional dodge-ball I play.

One of the remedies I promoted to the congregation this month is for us to rest, relax and remember. I need to time to rest and regroup, both for my body and for my spirit. I need to relax and enjoy those things that restore my joy and life’s vigor, and I need to remember who I am. I am the beloved of God.

As I have read and studied this month, I have come to remember how much I am the apple of God’s eye. God loves me totally, whether I’m able to master all the duties and responsibilities I have. God loves me totally, whether I’m at my best or at my worst. God loves me totally, whether I’m cranky or crazy, whether I’ve done all the things on my to-do list or not, whether I’ve given my all or nothing…God loves me totally.

These sermons have helped me remember to breathe and to smile…um…deeper and bigger.